{"product_id":"i-stab-things-beanie","title":"I Stab Things Beanie","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"109\" data-end=\"333\"\u003eFor the days when it’s cold outside but your humor is still disturbingly sharp. The \u003cstrong data-start=\"222\" data-end=\"246\"\u003eI Stab Things Beanie\u003c\/strong\u003e keeps your head warm, your sarcasm visible, and your intentions... questionably clear.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"335\" data-end=\"441\"\u003ePerfect for medics, veterans, knife nerds, or anyone who prefers their jokes dark and their beanies tight.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"443\" data-end=\"667\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"443\" data-end=\"521\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"445\" data-end=\"521\"\u003e60% cotton \/ 40% acrylic — warm, breathable, and slightly stabby in spirit\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"522\" data-end=\"587\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"524\" data-end=\"587\"\u003eSnug, form-fitting shape — like a tactical hug for your skull\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"588\" data-end=\"667\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"590\" data-end=\"667\"\u003eOne size fits most — unless your head’s full of bad decisions and war stories\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"669\" data-end=\"835\" data-is-last-node=\"\" data-is-only-node=\"\"\u003e🗡️ \u003cem data-start=\"673\" data-end=\"759\"\u003eWarning: May cause side-eyes, nervous laughter, and people asking if you’re serious.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"759\" data-end=\"762\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"762\" data-end=\"835\" data-is-last-node=\"\"\u003eYou're not cold-blooded. You’re just cold. And maybe a little stabby.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cem data-is-last-node=\"\" data-end=\"1329\" data-start=\"1288\"\u003e\u003cem data-is-last-node=\"\" data-end=\"1117\" data-start=\"1078\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHeads up (literally):\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eWe don’t keep piles of hats sitting in some dusty warehouse. Each one’s made fresh when you order—like a tactical taco for your head. That means shipping takes a bit longer, but it's worth the wait.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThanks for supporting made-to-order gear and helping us avoid overproduction. Your patience is legendary. Probably.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Cover and Concealment","offers":[{"title":"Black","offer_id":51114392486183,"sku":"1630445_4522","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark green","offer_id":51114392518951,"sku":"1630445_4526","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray","offer_id":51114392551719,"sku":"1630445_4524","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0959\/3146\/6023\/files\/knit-beanie-black-front-68717a4840202.jpg?v=1772819099","url":"https:\/\/primestore.us\/products\/i-stab-things-beanie","provider":"PrimeStore Premium Marketplace ","version":"1.0","type":"link"}